Best TV quotes of all time

Day Trip - S1-E8

Conner: Tell me again.
Raven: You're the most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms.

balistener

The Post-Modern Prometheus - S5-E5

[After spilling coffee on his lap.]
Mulder: Great, now my crotch will be up all night.

Jaynestown - S1-E4

[About Jayne's statue.]
Wash: I think they captured him. Captured his esscence, you know?
Kaylee: He looks kinda angry.
Wash: That's kinda what I meant.

The Wait Out - S7-E23

Elaine: The thing about George is, he's an idiot.

David Banner: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Season 5 generally

Rick Grimes: This is how we survive. We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead.

Friso94

Firestorm - S1-E10

Kelly Grayson: This is going to sound like I'm talking out my ass.
Isaac: Then please try to enunciate.

Doug Ross: Dr. Weaver and the sound of her own voice. A love story.

Waiting In The Wings - S3-E13

Cordelia: You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Angel: Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful woman I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
Cordelia: What did you just call me?
Angel: I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
Cordelia: No, after that.

Multiple characters: Mouth breather.

Stanley Roper: I want my rent.
Helen Roper: Stanley, where are your manners? You're supposed to say hello when you walk into a room.
Stanley Roper: Hello, I want my rent.

Bea Smith: I'm going Freak-hunting.

Murdock: I wish I could just jump in the water and live like a fish.
B.A. Baracus: Shut up fool, you ain't no fish.

Lamont Sanford: You know what they say, the truth will set you free.
Fred Sanford: Your uncle Edgar told the truth, and the judge gave him six months.

Linda: What do you have against the New York City Marathon?
Dr. John Becker: The Marathon just gets my hopes up. At first it seems like 20,000 idiots are leaving the city, but then they just make a big loop and come right back.

Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.

Napoleon Solo: My name is Napoleon Solo. I'm an enforcement agent in Section Two here. That's operations and enforcement.
Illya Kuryakin: I am Illya Kuryakin. I am also an enforcement agent. Like my friend Napoleon, I go and I do whatever I am told to by our chief.
Alexander Waverly: Hmm? Oh, yes. Alexander Waverly. Number One in Section One. In charge of this, our New York headquarters. It's from here that I send these young men on their various missions.

Steve: Laura, this is a... A really special moment and... Well, I think we should celebrate it by... Getting married.
Laura: No.
Steve: Engaged?
Laura: No.
Steve: Going steady?
Laura: No.
Steve: A date?
Laura: No.
Steve: A kiss?
Laura: No.
Steve: A handshake?
Laura: No.
Steve: I'll see ya tomorrow?
Laura: Yeah.
Steve Urkel: I'll take it.

Mr. Bennet: For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?

Damon Salvatore: I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.