Best TV quotes of all time

Narrator: Centuries ago in Japan, Nighlok monsters invaded our world, but samurai warriors defeated them with power symbols, passed down from parent to child. Today the evil Nighlok have risen once again and plan to flood the earth. Luckily, a new generation of heroes stand in their way. They are the Power Rangers Samurai.

The Diseasel - S2-E21

Bill and Ben: We're not playing. We're rescuing our trucks.

Comedyfan74

Wednesday: Dear Santa, we just wanted you to know that even though Mr. Thompson says that there was no such thing as Santa Claus, we didn't believe him. So please come or else it will make us look like dummies. Signed Wednesday and Pugsley Addams.

Parade - S2-E4

Eddie: So, er, what did you do then?
Falklands War Vet: Well, I'd rather not talk about it.
Eddie: Why? Is it embarrassing? Shit your pants, did you? Cry, did you?
Falklands War Vet: Quite the opposite, actually.
Eddie: What, you sucked water in through your eyes?

Dori: Guns don't kill people.
Sledge Hammer: Yeah, bullets do.

Chapter 46 - S4-E7

Frank Underwood: [Stands between the portraits of Kennedy and Reagan.] All three of us took bullets. [Nods to Reagan's.] Well, I know why we're smiling, we survived.

Friso94

John Bacchus: You're under arrest.
George Gently: He's under arrest, when I say he is.

Deputy Travis Junior: Getting two tickets to an execution is like getting two tickets to NASCAR, except you know Jeff Gordon's gonna die.

Lou Grant: Put it on an idiot card for Ted.
Ted Baxter: Cue cards, Lou. I don't know why everyone insists on calling cue cards idiot cards.
Murray Slaughter: We just have trouble thinking of you as a cue.

Day 6: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM - S6-E1

Jack Bauer: Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn't want to die for nothing. Today, I can die for something.

Blooregard "Bloo" Q. Kazoo: Got B.O.? Get DEO.

Pilot - S1-E1

Georgie: Admit it, he's adopted.
Sheldon: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
Missy: I wish I was adopted.
Mary: That can still be arranged.

Cubs Fan ★

Worlds Finest - S1-E18

Cat Grant: All four of you standing there doing nothing, you look like the attractive yet non-threatening, racially diverse cast of a CW show.

Jon Sandys ★

Nathan Stark: Good job, Carter... Wow, that didn't even leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Marshall Jack Carter: Wait for it.
Nathan Stark: ...Oh, there it is.

Greg Sanders: For the record, I really like having a penis.

1337: Well... I'm one heck of a mama myself.

Dexter: I am a father, a son, a serial killer.

Friends - S2-E20

MacGyver: For the past seven years I have done nothing but travel around the world getting shot up, locked up, blown up...and all I have to show for it are a couple of empty rolls of duct tape.

Haven Is for Real - S3-E5

[Watching a dreadful performance by James Dean.]
Josh: I gotta get some air.
Abraham Lincoln: I don't blame you. This is the worst theater experience I've ever had.

Jon Sandys ★

Season 2 generally

Discord: 'What fun is there in making sense?"