Michaleen Flynn: None 'o that now, none 'o that. It's a bold sinful man y'are Sean Thornton. And who taught you to be playin' patty-fingers in the Holy Water?
Thornton: Just bein' polite, is all.
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Jesse: No "and then"!
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Prince Henry: I have been born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations.
Leonardo da Vinci: Horseshit.
Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy: Well, mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner.
Passepartout: I'm your new valet.
Phileas Fogg: Uh... I must commend the valet service on their impeccable foresight. But they know I only accept French valets.
Passepartout: Yes. Oh! Oui! Oui! I come from a long line of French valets. On my father's side. Very, very French.
Phileas Fogg: But your accent.
Passepartout: My father French. Never speak. My mother Chinese and never shuts up. All the children pick up her accent.
Reverend Mother: Girl groups? Boogie-Woogie on the piano? What were you thinking?
Dolores: I was thinking more like Vegas, you know? Get some butts in the seats.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: People go by the names their parents give them, but they don't believe in God.
Clerk: Do you swear on the Constitution of the United States to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Jive Man: Ain't no thing.
Defense Attorney: Would you describe, in your own words, what happened that night?
Jive Man: Check it, bleed. Bro was on! Didn't trip. But the folks was freakin', man. Hey, and the pilots were laid to the bones, Homes. So Blood hammered out and jammed jet ship. Tightened that bad sucker inside the runway like a mother. Shit.
Freddie Shapp: You're on the 2 AM to 5 AM slot.
Ron Burgundy: What? That's the graveyard shift!
Brick Tamland: I ain't afraid of no ghost!
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.
Resputia Latimore: Hey Norbit, what you looking at?
Norbit Wright: Just some kids coming down the slide.
Resputia Latimore: Oh I see what you looking at, you want to see a bitch come down the slide, Imma show you how a bitch come down the slide.
[Having pulled over a speeding driver.]
Mac: All right, how about Cat Game?
Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster: Ten? Starting right meow?
[They go up to the car.]
Driver: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.
[The man gives him his license.]
Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow.
Driver: [laughing.] Sorry.
Foster: Is there something funny here boy?
Driver: Oh, no.
Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?
[Foster stares at him.]
Foster: All right meow, where were we?
Driver: Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster: Am I saying meow?
Driver: I thought...
Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, do you know how fast you were going?
[The man laughs.]
Foster: Meow. What is so damn funny?
Driver: I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?
[The man is uncontrollably laughing.]
Foster: You stop laughing right meow!
Driver: [Stops and swallows hard.] Yes sir.
Foster: Meow, I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. It's the law.
[Rips off the ticket and hands it to the man.]
Foster: Not so funny meow, is it?
[Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows.]
Foster: Meow!
Dusty Rust-eze: Thanks to you, Lightning, we had a banner year!
Rusty Rust-eze: I mean, we might even clear enough to buy you some headlights!
Dusty Rust-eze: Are you saying he doesn't have headlights?
Rusty Rust-eze: That's what I'm tellin' ya - it's just stickers!
Lightning McQueen: Well, you know, race cars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit.
Dusty Rust-eze: Well, so is my brother, but he still needs headlights!
Frank: A mental mind fuck can be nice.
Frank Drebin: Hey, Rocco. Who's the old bag? She take one in the face?
Rocco: She's my mother.
Frank Drebin: Oh. Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. You must be very proud of him.
Mrs. Dillon: I am.
Stig: Just because you put your finger in your belly button and brown shit comes out don't mean it's your asshole.
Barry B. Benson: Ya like jazz?