Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!
Ford Fairlane: 1969 Fender Stratocaster, original pick-ups, maple neck, strung upside down for a left-handed motherfucking genius, Jimi Hendrix.
Kim Baker: I'm wondering if you can give me something... On background, just about the security situation here and the state of the war in general.
General Hollanek: Yeah, I can give you something... This war's like fucking a gorilla, you keep on going until the gorilla wants to stop.
Kim Baker: I think I can paraphrase that.
General Hollanek: Knock yourself out.
Young Shirley Valentine: Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday.
Michael Bryce: This guy single-handedly ruined the word motherfucker.
Sam Sweet: [911 call being played.] Oh my God! Oh my God! My twin brother has been shot! I think it was an Asian gang or something... There was this guy, he looked Asian... And he was speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was... Asian.
Doctor Flamond: You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth?
Nick Rivers: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
Terry: Time flies.
Gatsby Welles: Yes, unfortunately, it flies coach.
Terry: What's that supposed to mean?
Gatsby Welles: It's not always a comfortable trip.
Gen. Glen McMahon: God damn it, Pete. Why are you fat?
Mrs. Doubtfire: I hope you don't mind me being a tad rude, but... How was he? You know, on a scale of 1 to 10?
Miranda: Well, that part was always... Okay.
Mrs. Doubtfire: Just okay? Well, he was probably a Casanova compared to poor old Winston.
Miranda: What was the matter with Winston?
Mrs. Doubtfire: Oh dear, Winston's idea of foreplay was "Effie, brace yourself."
Wendy: Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?
Meat: Practically everybody in town from what I hear.
Principal Mcgee: If you play an instrument, remember, it is better to play with a group then with yourself.
Ted: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.
[Renfield is being seduced by Dracula's brides.]
Renfield: This is wrong. Do you hear me? Wrong. This is...WRONG ME! WRONG ME! WRONG MY BRAINS OUT!
Gunderson: He's all over the place! Nine hundred feet up to 1300 feet. What an asshole!
Jack Walsh: Here come two words for you: shut the fuck up.
Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.
Chad Danforth: Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box?
Troy Bolton: Who's Michael Crawford?
Chad Danforth: Exactly my point! He was the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Now, my mom, she's seen that musical 27 times and she put Michael Crawford's picture in our refrigerator. Not on it, in it. So, my point is if you play basketball, you're gonna end up on a cereal box. If you sing in musicals, you're gonna end up in my mom's refrigerator.
Troy Bolton: Why would she put his picture in her refrigerator?
Chad Danforth: One of her crazy diet ideas! Look, I don't have time to understand the female mind, Troy!
Master Oogway: There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
Motormouth Maybelle: [to Seaweed and Penny.] Oh, so this is love? [She pauses and then smiles.] Well, love is a gift, a lot of people don't remember that. So, you two better brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid.
Penny Pingleton: [Totally serious.] So, you've met my mom?