Banner in the back of Stanley's van: I'm the guy your mother warned you about.
Matthew: Enter the fuckin' dragon.
Bree Davis: You see women all day, every day. How do they keep from just runnin' together?
Dr. Sullivan "Sully" Travis, "Dr. T": I think every single woman I've ever met has got somethin' special about her, somethin' that sets her apart from the rest.
Bree Davis: Well, if a gynecologist says there's no two alike, I guess there's no two alike.
Bobby: Don't worry, bro! I'm a yellow belt.
Ryan: I like that you look nervous sometimes for no reason. And when you do, you bite your lip. I like that you probably... rifled through your closet tonight... and settled with what you started out with. I like your smile.
Dr. Anton Rudolph: You have no idea what you're up against.
Bart Parker: You don't know my men.
Dr. Anton Rudolph: This is not some garden snake you're going after. We are talking about a perfect killing machine. A 129-foot all-terrain vehicle capable of speeds exceeding 50 miles an hour with skin that can deflect an antitank round, enhanced night vision and a voracious appetite for human flesh. It will slaughter your men before they have a chance to blink.
Vanessa: I just wanna know where I belong.
Mona Hibbard: You belong in the family box.
Maurey Pierce: We're both virgins, but someday we're gonna find ourselves doing it for real.
Sam Callahan: So today's sex isn't real?
Maurey Pierce: We're just friends helping each other learn a new skill. This is practice.
Sam Callahan: So, will we still be virgins afterward?
Matthew: Isn't American cheese appropriately named? You know, it's fake and processed, just like America.
Miranda Frayle: I'm absolutely determined that the Countess of Marshwood shall be the longest, and greatest, role I ever played.
Felicity Marshwood: I do hope you won't find it too much of a strain.
Nigel: Mother.
Felicity Marshwood: I do know what I'm talking about. I've played it for years. I find it a good part, but technically rather exhausting.
Lou Mozell: You know, that I actually met a girl by the name of Moo Goo Gai Pan? That was her last name. Her first name was Freida. Freida Moo Goo Gai Pan. She was half-Jewish, half-Chinese. A lot of people called her the Ori-Yenta.