Homer Simpson: Marge, in every marriage you get one chance to say, "I need you to do this with me." And there's only one answer when somebody says that.
Marge Simpson: OK Homie, I'm with ya.
Homer: Thank you my sweetheart.
Bart Simpson: Mom?
Marge: Yes honey?
Bart: You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertiliser salesman!
Louden Swain: But all I ever settled for is that we're born to live and then to die, and... we got to do it alone, each in his own way. And I guess that's why we got to love those people who deserve it like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause when you get right down to it - there isn't.
Venom: You come in here again, in fact, you go anywhere in this city preying on innocent people and we will find you and eat both your arms and then both of your legs and then we will eat your face right off your head. Do you understand?
Robber: Please.
Venom: Yes. So, you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing, won't you? Rolling down the street, like a turd in the wind. Do you feel me?
Robber: What the hell are you?
[Venom's face partially opens to reveal Eddie's face]
Eddie/Venom: We...are Venom.
[Venom's face fully reforms]
Venom: On second thought.
Robber: Please.
[Venom kills the robber].
Martha McCandles: This is going to be a very harsh and unpleasant business, and will take an equally harsh and unpleasant person to see to it.
Sidney Prescott: You sicks fucks have seen too many movies!
Billy Loomis: Sid, don't blame the movies. The movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.
[Renfield is being seduced by Dracula's brides.]
Renfield: This is wrong. Do you hear me? Wrong. This is...WRONG ME! WRONG ME! WRONG MY BRAINS OUT!
Connie Sumner: I think this was a mistake.
Paul: There is no such thing as a mistake. There are things you do, and things you don't do.
Gunderson: He's all over the place! Nine hundred feet up to 1300 feet. What an asshole!
Michael Bryce: This guy single-handedly ruined the word motherfucker.
Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir." Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. Oh, and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.
Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck", and then we'd have been in real trouble.
Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!
Doctor Flamond: You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth?
Nick Rivers: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
Peter Gibbons: Good point.
Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Well yeah.
Peter Gibbons: Nothing.
Lawrence: Nothing, huh?
Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.
Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.
Wendy: Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?
Meat: Practically everybody in town from what I hear.
Hooper: You know those eight guys in the fantail launch out there? Well, none of 'em are gonna make it out of the harbor alive.
Spider-Ham: Do animals talk in this dimension? Cause I don't wanna freak anyone out.
Young Shirley Valentine: Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday.
