Ebenezer Hawkins: You're just like your old pa. He was the lyingest, crookedest, mangyest, rottenest, low down critter than never drew a silver breath.
Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.: Say, you really knew my daddy, didn't you? You, sir, have cast aspersions on my dear old daddy, the brave, low-down, mangy, crooked, drunken hero that won the West.
Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.: I was so young at the time, I don't remember many of the things Daddy said about me. If he poured out his heart in this will, I'd kinda like to read it. "The reason I leave all my money to my son Junior is that, being of sound mind I can't leave my money to my wife, 'cause I ain't never forgiven her since the day she presented me with an idiot for a son." Well, I was the only child. "But this idiot is all I got in the world, which shows you what a lousy spot I'm in."
Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.: I was peaches / I was cream / I was captain of the team.
Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.: Why, I'm so mean, I hate myself.
Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.: When I was twelve, oh what a joy, Mom told me I was a boy.
Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.: Rock 'em, Sock 'em, Make 'em quit, Hit 'em where they know they're hit.
Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.: Where I hail from, we don't cotton to folks what cotton to other folks gals that don't cotton to folks that cotton to them. That's cotton talk, see?
Roy Barton: I apologize, mister.
Peter 'Junior' Potter Jr.: Oh, you do? Well then beat the whole kit 'n' caboodle of you. That's caboodle talk.
