Bob Stone: You're like a black Will Smith.
Clarence Goobril: Wordness to the turdness.
Dr. Franks: You had an injury to your head. You got hurt, right? When you were young? Do you remember how it happened?
Jericho Stewart: Yeah. My mother told my daddy that he wasn't my daddy. So he called her a whore and throw... me out the car window.
Kaiser Wilhelm II: I'm ashamed to say that before and after my first marriage I, myself, fathered at least two illegitimate children: one with an Austrian countess, another with a French prostitute who was known in court circles as Madame L'Amour. Both of them, incidentally, blackmailed me for huge sums of money, the Countess and the prostitute. I expected better of the prostitute.
Everett Lewis: Oh! When I was their age did the work o' ten men. Clean this yard, chop wood.
Mr. Hill: Yeah.
Everett Lewis: Built that fence.
Mr. Hill: Yes, but - You were here, around people. Everett? If someone applied for that job? Hire them.
News Anchor: Now to the question that has no clear answer. How did two twenty-something young men land a three-hundred-million-dollar Pentagon contract?
Anita Hill: Why are you doing this?
Charles Ogletree: I've got students more qualified than Thomas. Plus, I believe you.
Anita Hill: What about tenure?
Charles Ogletree: Hell, in 24 hours, I'll be able to get any job I want. Fuck tenure.
Stretch: It wouldn't be Texas without a chainsaw massacre.
Sebastian: I'm letting life hit me until it gets tired. Then I'll hit back. It's a classic rope-a-dope.
Will Davis: Charlie got a job today.
Jillian Stewart: McDonald's or Taco Bell?
Charlie: Middle school chemistry teacher.
Jillian Stewart: I weep for our future.
Red Queen: Hello, Alice.
Mad Hatter: Aaahhh!
Claire: What was that thing you said about Einstein in there?
Raffi: Einstein called time a stubbornly persistant illusion.
Claire: Whats that even mean.
Raffi: Time doesn't go from January to December, or from noon to midnight. You know we all just make it that way in our heads.
Claire: That's absurd! Try telling that to a person who's an hour late to a wedding, or that's just been sentenced to 20 years in jail.
Raffi: Or someone fighting the baby clock.
The Priest: There comes a time in man's search for meaning when he realises that there are no answers. And when you come to the horrible and unavoidable realization, you accept it or you kill yourself. Or you simply stop searching.
Dante: What them white girls want? They lost? Did you go "awesome", they like when you go "awesooome!"
Jeffrey Allen: Out here, there is no good and there is no bad. To survive out here, you've got to out monster the monster. Can you do that?