Adrienne Willis: I know you've only ever known your father and me. And I love Jack, because he is your father. But there's another kind of love, Amanda. One that gives you the courage to be better than you are, not less than you are. One that makes you feel that anything is possible. I want you to know that you could have that. I want you to hold out for it.
Christine Collins: Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
Mr. Big: I will love you forever, Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours.
Michael Carson: Don't be scared, mommy. He just wants to come play with us.
Suit: I'm betting beard.
Ben: What kind of remark is that? People's livelihood are at stake.
Suit: Make a note, a producer with a conscience.
Bloomberg: I got to the third section where I noticed a certain marketable tone, the surly smarter-than-thou asshole tone.
Kate Walker: I think I'm more comfortable with being disappointed. I think I'm angry at you for trying to take that away.
Frank Allen: You caught me reminiscing. A lot of memories here. Buy you a drink?
Ed: Oh, I'd love to Frank, but uh... I'm kind of... I'm... I'm in a bit of a rush.
Frank Allen: I insist. After all, it is the traditional function of the father of the bride.
Ed: What is?
Frank Allen: Keeping the groom away from back exits.
Yamashita: People are talking.
Daigo Kobayashi: About what?
Yamashita: Get yourself a proper job.
Derek: I love America, but I fuckin' hate cops.
Jake Gallo: By the way, props to you for killing everyone.
Major General Hank Landry: I take it that in your timeline you're not a discredited whackjob living on the fringes of society?
Dr. Daniel Jackson: That really depends on who you ask.
Trevor: What are you doing?
Sean: I am Googling at 30 thousand feet.
Trevor: Are you supposed to be doing that?
Sean: Welcome to the 21st century.
Tom: Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you.
Elliot Moore: Can this really be happening?
Mike Manadoro: I work in the typical car service crew. Evenly split between the retired, and the retarded.
Scott: Every week I ask you, "Please wear appropriate footwear." And every week you insist on wearing those stupid boots.
Poppy: Yeah, sorry about that.
Scott: You know what this is? This is vanity before safety.
Poppy: Oh, right.
Scott: "I'm sorry, Mrs Jones, I'm sorry. Poppy killed your child, but don't worry, she looked really cool in her sexy, seductive boots."
Poppy: Hmm, am I keeping you awake at night?
Scott: No.
Poppy: You sure about that?
Earth President Richard Nixon: If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Let's cut this turd loose.