Val: I got the last plane out of Toronto. Hey, have you ever seen Canada? Now I know why there's no crime up there.
Ben Carpenter: C'mon, you mother. Come to papa.
Randolph Grady: You know, I could help you study.
Starla Grady: Yeah and what's the catch?
Randolph Grady: No catch, you just gotta be nice to me for the rest of my life.
Starla Grady: Ha! I should have known you'd exploit this for emotional blackmail. That's just mean you... user.
Duff: Maybe we can use slingshots to rob the place.
John: A slingshot is not a real weapon, Duff.
Duff: Oh, yeah? Well maybe you'd like to define the word "weapon' for me while this plastic doll smashes into your temple at 180 miles per hour.
Aunt Voula: Toula. Toula! You're engaged. You're engaged-We never think this would happen for you. Never. Never. Taki, didn't we say that.
Uncle Taki: We never think this day would come. Never.
Rachel: I'm with B.N.S.
Kelly Robinson: Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?
Crazy Eyes: I watch the stock market channel all the time - I just watch because I suspect that anchor man of being an evil leprechaun... he can bullshit everybody else, but he ain't fooling me.
Gerald: Do these belts come in any other color?
Bridget: Black or pink?
Gerald: Uh, we'll take black.
Clark Devlin: Never touch my tuxedo.
Tim: Are you with me here, altar boy?
Trailer Trash Thumb: A lot of kids were disappearing in the woods, all mysterious like. And people thought it might be... David Copperfield. In a stage show, he took a llama and put it in a box. He closed the box and spinned it around. He opened up the box. There's no llama! And you don't see that every day, there's a llama here, llama gone. Llama, no llama. Just chills you to the bones.
Lauren: Abstinence is 100% safe, which is less of a percentage than.
Lara: Whatever, I don't care, I don't major in math.
Professor Utonium: Girls! You've come.
Mojo Jojo: Quiet! I was afraid of this. They have returned and figured out what their powers can really do. Come. You will make a good power-proof vest.
Catherine: Oh, eww, this arugal is so bitter! It'l like my algebra teacher on my bread.
Barry: I wanted to ask you something because you're a doctor... I don't like myself sometimes. Can you help me?
Walter: Barry, I'm a dentist. What kind of help do you think I could give you?
Chris McCormick: Harlan, get up here.
Harlan: I'm afraid of heights.
Chris McCormick: Heights? Are you afraid of spiders?
Carla: Everything here is by the book.
Kelly Collins: Thanks for the warning Carla, but I would really like to try and retain my individuality around here.