[Afer Max punches a hole in a wall.]
Max Prince: I wanna hit something else. Something big! Something expensive!
Milt Fields: There's a bank across the street, Max.
Mikey Dundee: Do people like rats here?
Napoleon Bonaparte: I am Napoleon.
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: No, you're not Napoleon! I hate Napoleon! He's filled France with widows and orphans! He took my husband! I won't let him take you.
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Chloe: Isn't it fun?
Ricky Slade: What's that, sweetie?
Chloe: Isn't it fun?
Ricky Slade: What's that?
Chloe: Isn't it fun?
Ricky Slade: What fun?
Chloe: Isn't it fun to paint?
Ricky Slade: To paint? Yeah, I love it! Really calms me down. Frogs aren't purple by the way. Have you ever seen a purple frog?
Chloe: Yes.
Ricky Slade: Yeah. Okay, when? When you were asleep?
Mrs. Berman: What do you think, Elwood? Do you like the new chair?
Ray Elwood: Can you sit on it, ma'am?
Mrs. Berman: No, of course you can't sit on it, it's an antique.
Ray Elwood: Oh, well, it's very nice.
Mama: That man looks like that Santa from years ago... no, can't be...No more eggnog for me.
Officer on radio: Suspect is heading towards the uvula. Repeat, heading towards the uvula.
Osmosis Jones: What the heck is a u-vala?
Drix: It's that little dangly thing that hangs down in Frank's...
Osmosis Jones: Boxer shorts! OK, here we go!
Drix: Not that little dangly thing! The one in his throat!
Osmosis Jones: I knew that, I knew that.
Kelly: Are you crying?
Berke Landers: No, you're squeezing my puncture wound.
Margot: I think we're just gonna to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that.
Chris: You know, there's a word for people who think everyone is conspiring against them.
C.W.: I know, perceptive.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
Meg Harper: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
Janessa: Why don't you just admit it? You want me.
Tsunaron: I couldn't be with a girl whose balls are bigger than mine.
Jane Livingstone: Neutrality does not exist in the face of murder. Doing nothing to stop it is, in fact, choosing. It is not being neutral.
Kiyoshi Yamazaki: This isn't a mystery of life! It's a shit.
Jessica: Or-Or smart, but funny in a totally unappealing way. You know? Just like funny/stupid, or funny/dopey, but not funny/witty or funny/ironic or funny/goofy, you know? Or-Or they seem smart, and then you realize that they aren't at all. And that's funny, but funny/tragic.
Randy: There's the ten-thousand dollars... well, aren't you gonna count it?
Mr. Burmeister: Nah.
Randy: You trust me?
Mr. Burmeister: No, but I kill people.