Joe Wade: Sooner or later there's gonna be too much rain, or too much drought, or too much corn... I can wait.
Squirrel Murphy: Now that's a girl I could take advantage of.
Lucy Lane: All you need is a couple of streaks and your ears pierced. I could do it for you, it's easy. You just get a needle, heat it up, dab it with some alcohol, and zap! The guys go crazy.
Linda Lee: My ears what?
Lucy Lane: Pierced. Like and you know, I take a needle, and then I heat it up, dab it with some alcohol and, zap, all the guys go crazy.
Linda Lee: Because I have holes in my ears?
Lucy Lane: What, are you putting me on? Sometimes I can't figure you out, Linda.
Victor Frankenstein: People are weird.
Seaman John Adams: Any fool can steer a ship, sir. It's just knowing where to take it.
Warren Evans: I don't like to take naps. I don't like to wake up more than once a day. 'Cause when I first wake up I get that shock of who I am and everything. I... I really don't like to do that more than once a day.
Larry Hubbard: Ya.
Nick De Angelo: Don't make this a personal thing, Colin.
Colin Gilchrist Fisher: But it is personal. Isn't it?
Professor Godbhole: Nothing you do will change the outcome.
Richard Fielding: So "Do nothing!" Is that your philosophy?
Professor Godbhole: My philosophy is you can do what you like... but the outcome will be the same.